Fun fact for the day, this will be my first Tyler Perry flick. In the past, before I was into the whole “see everything” film-nerd that I’ve been these last couple years, Perry’s name was a label. You read, “Tyler Perry,” but I read, “Movie That I Won’t See.” His movies all looked the same: black people acting like cartoonish black people, instead of, you know, real people. They looked awful, but I know there’s been an audience for these movies. Not unlike the horrible film-makers behind MEET THE SPARTANS (2008), DISASTER MOVIE (2008), etc, there’s seems to be market for this lower-than-low brow crap.
But let’s take a look at the cast. Directing, writing, and starring, playing multiple roles in the movie is Tyler Perry (TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: OUT OF THE SHADOWS , GONE GIRL , and the Madea movies). While I may not be interested in his other Madea romps, I do remember some of his other acting work. I remember him in GONE GIRL and he pulled a very enjoyable performance. He wasn’t a central character or anything, but for what he was given, it was a damn good role. It’s clear this man can act, but hasn’t had the best ways to show it. He hasn’t had the prettiest of résumés either, what with other work like ALEX CROSS (2012), GOOD DEEDS (2012), and MEET THE BROWNS (2008), among many others. Co-starring, we have Cassi Davis (the Madea films, ACT OF FAITH , and TV show HOUSE OF PAIN), frequent voice actress Diamond White (TV shows TRANSFORMERS: RESCUE BOTS, THE LION GUARD, and PHINEAS AND FERB), and Bella Thorne (RATCHET & CLANK , THE DUFF , and ALEXANDER AND TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY ).
I’m predicting an awful comedy, but let’s get right to it, shall we?
This is my honest opinion of Tyler Perry’s: BOO! A MADEA HALLOWEEN.
Brian (Tyler Perry) catches his teen daughter Tiffany (Diamond White) hanging around a frat house, excited for being invited to a frat party… the same one that her overprotective father doesn’t want her to go to. After proving that she has no intention of doing what he tells her, Brian calls for reinforcements: in the form of Madea (Tyler Perry). Heading over to keep Tiffany grounded while Brian’s off to work, Tiffany still manages to sneak out. Enraged over her unruly nature, Madea and her friends race over to the frat party and hunt down Tiffany and drag her back. But as soon as she does, Tiffany tells the group of elders a ghost story that ends up having them all spooked, and soon, paranormal events begin to happen.
Yup, it was about as bad as I thought it’d be.
Perry as Madea was ANNOYING. Oh my god, that voice grated on my brain so relentlessly, I seriously started chewing on my tongue out of frustration. I was clawing at my arm-rest, kicking the handrail in front of me, pressing my head against my seat, I was only getting more angry as the movie continued. It was as if someone was shoving my balls in a blender, except that might have been a more merciful punishment for whatever sins I’ve committed in my life.
Not one joke lands. Not one line made me laugh or even remotely crack a smile. I don’t know if this piece of shit movie is on some higher plane of humor that I am too inferior to understand, due to the riotous laughter equally flooding my auditory senses, but by the devil’s passionate hatred for my soul, this movie made me stupider with every failed joke. Every last one was either predictable or utterly flat-lined. Perry has an astounding lack of knowledge of how comedy works. The basic building blocks of a joke are: set-up, and punchline. With most modern comedies, the set-up is completely ignored and the writers go straight for the punchline, which doesn’t work. It’s like if someone came up to you and shouted, “YOU PLAN IT!” Your reaction would probably be confusion and threatened. But if that person opened with the set-up, “How do you organize a space party?” and then delivered, “YOU PLAN IT!” then it becomes funny. The best jokes briefly get its audience predicting the punchline, but then turn that predictability on its side. Perry, quite astoundingly, does something much more idiotic: the jokes are backward. He announces the punchline before the joke has any time to set up. In Madea’s into scene, a clown is rolling on up to her house with an obvious jack-in-the-box. Before that happens, she’s constantly complaining about how she doesn’t like Halloween. But as soon as that box comes closer, she gets up and goes, “Let something pop up! I’ma beat the shit out of it,” or whatever the fuck she said, and much to everyone’s “surprise,” something pops out and Madea punches it. What fun is the joke if you’re going to announce the fucking punchline?
About the most hilarious thing in the movie is the fact that I practically slept through about fifteen minutes of it. You don’t understand, that’s rare. Like… really rare. I don’t sleep through movies. No matter how uninteresting, slow, awful, or tired I was, I have always been coherent enough to watch and remember the movie. I may not have always been sober (though Lord knows I deserved a long island after this shit), but I rarely sleep through a movie. This is a special kind of crap if I can’t even stay awake. But it’s true. There are scenes in this schlock that drag the fuck on. They run with the same shitty jokes for nearly ten minutes at a time and it made my eyelids so heavy that I couldn’t help but fall asleep once.
But insulting my intelligence even more, this movie decides to attempt a twist ending. I won’t give it away, out of “integrity,” but the last fifteen, twenty minutes of the movie is so amazingly obvious that I was checking my cell phone clock every couple of minutes. It felt like a damn eternity. To make matters worse, it’s like the ending was trying to make some kind of heartwarming statement about learning lessons and respecting elders, but it comes across as contrived and borderline insane. And where does the heartwarming shit come from? In a flick about an obviously dressed man in women’s clothing, running around spewing curse words, praise Jesus, and painfully unfunny insults, where in hell does this movie earn serious conversation? Ugh, I’m getting a rash just from thinking about it.
Seriously, fuck this movie. One of the worst comedies I’ve seen this year. I hope it gets pulled from cinemas quickly because if I start breaking out into hives near my local theatres, I’m blaming this constipated shit-sandwich of a picture. Don’t see it. Stay far away. Save your gas, save your m0ney, save your time and do something productive with your family and or friends.
My honest rating for Tyler Perry’s BOO! A MADEA HALLOWEEN: 1/5
Halloween is right around the corner y’all, so here another quick recommendation of horror flicks to watch.
- HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA (2012) / HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 2 (2015)
- THE OTHERS (2001)
- ZOMBIELAND (2009)
- YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (1974)