So, just a heads up. This specific review was originally written at a time when I didn’t count on falling behind on reviews, so my solution was to cram them into a single post. However, I hated the way they turned out, so now I’m putting them into their own reviews. In short, this review is going to be crazy short. With that said, let’s carry on.

Cast: Teresa Palmer (HACKSAW RIDGE [2016], POINT BREAK [2015], THE GRUDGE 2 [2006], and the upcoming RIDE LIKE A GIRL [2019]) and Max Riemelt (SENSE8 [2015 – 2018])

Director: Cate Shortland (stuff I’ve either never seen or heard of)
Writer: Shaun Grant (stuff I’ve either never seen or heard of)
Composer: Bryony Marks (stuff I’ve either never seen or heard of)
Cinematographer: Germain McMicking (stuff I’ve either never seen or heard of)
Editor: Jack Hutchings (stuff I’ve either never seen or heard of, and the upcoming ANGEL OF MINE [2019])

This is my honest opinion of: BERLIN SYNDROME

 

(SUMMARY)

In this erotic thriller, a young woman named Clare (Teresa Palmer) is touring across Germany, taking in the sights. Not long later, she meets the dashing Andi (Max Riemelt). However, things take a horrible turn for the worst. Clare and Andi have sex and soon realizes that she can’t leave the apartment and that she must remain there for his pleasure.

(REVIEW)

I have no idea what the hell this movie was trying to be. Was it supposed to be a psychological analysis of how serial rapists get started? A cautionary tale of not traveling alone as a woman? No matter what this movie was supposed to be, it’s atrociously awful at conveying it! Do you want to know all of what this movie is? A hot white girl being the personal sex slave of a sick German asshole that the movie wants you to sympathize with and she does extremely little to fight back. She resists only in the beginning. But even after that, she’s got glass bottles, boiling water, and other hard objects to fight back with and frustratingly never utilizes a single thing to fight back, or even really does a good job of calling for help. It’s an unbelievably unpleasant film to sit through and clocking at a two hour runtime, I felt like it shared THE GODFATHER’s running length. If you’ve never heard of this, good. Keep it that way. And better yet, never see it.

My honest rating for BERLIN SYNDROME: 1/5

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