So, just a heads up. This specific review was originally written at a time when I didn’t count on falling behind on reviews, so my solution was to cram them into a single post. However, I hated the way they turned out, so now I’m putting them into their own reviews. In short, this review is going to be crazy short. With that said, let’s carry on.
Starring: Mandy Moore (TANGLED ) and Claire Holt (stuff I’ve either never seen or heard of).
Directing and co-writing: Johannes Roberts (THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR ) Co-writing: Ernest Riera (THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR). Composer: tomandandy (RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION ). Cinematographer: Mark Silk (stuff I’ve either never seen or heard of)
This is my honest opinion of: 47 METERS DOWN
Loving sisters Lisa (Moore) and Kate (Holt) are on vacation in Mexico, mostly because Lisa is getting over a bad break-up because she’s apparently too boring. In an effort to spice up her life and show her boyfriend up one, Kate drags Lisa in a cage dive to see sharks. However, not long after they get submerged and see three great white sharks, the cable to their cage snaps and the crane breaks off the boat and the three young women plummet to the ocean floor. With no communication to the surface, rapidly depleting oxygen, and bloody wounds attracting the sharks, it becomes a series of desperate gambles to stay alive.
I wanted to like this, I really did. But I do not. I honestly don’t know how this movie is feature-length. Leave the cage, get eaten by a shark. Stay in the cage, hang out, be safe, let search and rescue do its job. This movie shouldn’t be very long. But it’s one of those movies where you’d be justified in screaming at the screen, “Oh nah, girl, don’t do it!” “Bitch gonna get eaten!” This movie is so poorly written that I am curious if I could make a drinking game out of it: take a shot for every time Moore says, “Please be careful,” “I am so scared,” “No, please, don’t go.” Seriously, someone try this out for me when it comes out on Blu-Ray. There is great atmosphere, and some chilling visuals I give it that. But the story falls flat when it comes to characters that are annoying and an ending that feels like such a slap in the face of the viewers, I can’t recommend this movie to anyone. No, not the worst. I didn’t think I’d like it, but it’s not good.
My honest rating for 47 METERS DOWN: a weak 3/5