These “transfer” reviews are from when I only did reviews on my Facebook page back in 2015. Bare in mind when reading these, I didn’t have the same formula in my review writing that I do now, and my usual “who starred and who directed” information is completely absent, so everything “italicized” is new. With that said, enjoy this review from 2015.
Oh man, the moment this movie was announced, I was pretty excited. Anyone wanna say they didn’t like the first TED? No? Didn’t think so.
Starring: Seth MacFarlane (LOGAN LUCKY , SING , and HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY ), Mark Wahlberg (ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD , THE FIGHTER , THE DEPARTED , and the upcoming INSTANT FAMILY ), and Amanda Seyfried (THE LAST WORD , JENNIFER’S BODY , MEAN GIRLS , and upcoming films MAMMA MIA! HERE WE GO AGAIN  and GRINGO )
Support: Jessica Barth (GET SMART , NEXT , and the upcoming TELL ME YOUR NAME ), Giovanni Ribisi (THE BAD BATCH , AVATAR , FLIGHT OF THE PHOENIX , and upcoming films AVATAR 2  and AVATAR 3 ), Morgan Freeman (JUST GETTING STARTED , THE DARK KNIGHT , THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION , and upcoming films ANGEL HAS FALLEN  and THE NUTCRACKER AND THE FOUR REALMS ), Patrick Warburton (MEN IN BLACK II , THE EMPEROR’S NEW GROOVE , and TV show A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS [2017 – ongoing]), and Liam Neeson (THE COMMUTER , A MONSTER CALLS , TAKEN , ROB ROY , and upcoming films HARD POWDER  and WIDOWS )
Director: Seth MacFarlane (A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST  and TED ). Writers: Seth MacFarlane (A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST, TED, and 4 episodes of TV show DEXTER’S LABORATORY [1996 – 2003]), Alex Sulkin (A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST), and Wellesley Wild (A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST and TED). Composer: Walter Murphy (TED, and TV shows FAMILY GUY [1998 – ongoing] and 12 episodes of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER [1997 – 2003]). Cinematographer: Michael Barrett (A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST, YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN , KISS KISS BANG BANG , and upcoming films GOTTI  and BEASTS OF BURDEN ). Editor: Jeff Freeman (A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST, PAUL BART: MALL COP , 4 episodes of TV show CASTLE [2009 – 2016], and the upcoming UNCLE DREW )
Story on top (SPOILERS), review on the bottom.
Ted (voiced by Seth MacFarlane) and Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth) have finally tied the knot. Despite their big day, John (Mark Wahlberg) is down in the dumps over his divorce with his wife. Fast-forward one year, Ted and Tami-Lynn’s marriage is beginning to fall apart. A co-worker of theirs suggests that the only way to save their marriage is to have a baby. Their best efforts in getting a doner fail, as Ted has no genitalia, even failing adoption, all because that the law doesn’t recognize Ted as an actual person. Recruiting the beautiful and inexperienced lawyer Samantha (Amanda Seyfried), they take their case to court. Sadly, their efforts are in vain thanks to some backroom dealing from the ever obsessed-with-Ted weirdo Donny (Giovanni Ribisi). But neither Ted, John, or Samantha are taking this loss up the ass as they figure out that their last and best chance for Ted becoming a person is the incredibly good lawyer Patrick Meighan (Morgan Freeman). Taking a road trip to visit the man in New York, and antics galore along the way, a romance developing between John and Samantha, all the while pursued by Donny, they arrive at their destination. However, Meighan won’t take the case, believing it to be a lost cause. Rejected by their only hope, Ted gets angry and blames John and Samantha, runs off, and ends up in Comic-Con, where he is met face to face with Donny, who once again tries to capture Ted in the name of a deal he made with Hasbro’s CEO to dissect Ted to understand what makes him tick in order to make more Teds. Unfortunately Ted is captured, though he thankfully manages to contact John and Samantha beforehand. They arrive just in time to rescue Ted and fight back. Eventually, Donny is arrested, but not before seriously injuring John, sending him to the hospital. He ends up fine, Meighan decides to accept the case due to John’s televised sacrifice for Ted. Before long, Ted is given status as a person, and successfully adopts a baby. Happy ending.
Yes, it’s fucking hilarious. Stop worrying about that if you were worried it wouldn’t be. But is it better than the first movie? Hard to say. While the first one certainly has a kind of narrative to it, a mature coming-of-age feel to it about a man who didn’t quite grow up, who has to learn to stand on his two feet. Funny the timing of the sequel, as it dabbles in the subject of equality on the eve of a bill passing for legalized homosexual marriage nationwide. Go America… only took you forever and a day.
Despite it being hilarious, it is difficult to know what to expect from a movie from Seth MacFarlane. On the one hand, this is the creator of the TV show, FAMILY GUY. Not every episode is educational or have a commentary and it’s just straight stupid humor. TED was a nice mix of these elements, reminding us that this is still Seth MacFarlane, but he could still create compelling characters with arcs and motivations. While there are certainly those elements here, it’s less blended and more… smooshed, if that makes sense. Yes, we understand that Ted wants to be considered a person so he can remain married to Tami-Lynn, and adopt a baby with her. We know his personal stake in the matter. For the most part, Ted is handled well, with the exception that he loses focus a few times. Yeah, you’re on a mission to legalize your citizenship, I get it, I’m on board… so why are you on a rooftop throwing apples at joggers. Don’t get me wrong, I was laughing like a psycho, but I can’t help but feel like this could be considered lazy writing… and MacFarlane doesn’t do lazy writing. And even if he does, even that’s occasionally a punchline itself. In any case, Ted was faithful to his original inception, and I was happy with that.
Now, I want to be kind about Seyfried’s role in the movie. Oh, she wasn’t horrible or anything, in fact she’s quite funny and even has a commanding presence on camera when the scene calls for it. But her role in the movie seems a little… all over the place. At first, yes, I get it, she’s Ted’s legal representative. She takes the case for free as she is a new lawyer and needs a decent win considering the case. She seems to genuinely care about Ted’s legalization for being a person, but as soon as the case is over, why does she stick around and go this above and beyond for him? Aside from, “it’s justice for Ted” her motivations just don’t seem strong enough other than keeping her around for John to have a romantic interest in. And seriously, Collider.com was so right. The humor can be pretty mean-spirited, what with the constant comparisons between Seyfried and LORD OF THE RINGS’ Gollum. But it is true that she is a good sport about the fun-making, so even if there is a question of whether or not the humor is in poor taste, it’s hard to be upset with the man if the person who is being made fun of is alright with it.
As much as I seem to rip on this movie, these truly are just small details in the overall movie. There’s a scene toward the beginning of the movie involving an exchange between Ted and Liam Neeson that had my entire theater roaring with laughter. And that’s just the first 15 minutes. When all is said and done, this movie is just as funny as the first if not a bit funnier and is just as good. It gets side-tracked with its own jokes from time to time, but if you were a fan of the first TED, this one won’t disappoint.
My honest rating for TED 2: 4/5