One week later, I guess. Technically, this film started cropping up in out-of-the-way theaters last week, but because of the strange release day of READY PLAYER ONE, I wasn’t able to see this back then. Or at least, I wasn’t willing to do that much driving for a movie that I knew nothing about. I’m glad not only that this is coming out closer to where I live, but also in an AMC. MoviePass, yo!
The story looks like it’s about a young woman who is the personal assistant to a young actress who has been harassed by the media, both paparazzi and social media. While the two strike up a friendship, the actress ends up dead and the young woman ends up being the prime suspect.
Here’s the cast. Starring, we have Lola Kirke (AMERICAN MADE , GONE GIRL , and upcoming films UNTOGETHER  and VULTURE ), the criminally not-as-famous-as-she-should-be Michelle Forbes (COLUMBUS , MOCKINGJAY PART 2 , TV shows TRUE BLOOD [2008 – 2014], and BATTLESTAR GALACTICA [2004 – 2009]), John Cho (COLUMBUS, STAR TREK BEYOND , GRANDMA , and the upcoming THE GRUDGE ), Zoë Kravitz (ROUGH NIGHT , ALLEGIANT , MAD MAX: FURY ROAD , and upcoming films KIN  and FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD ), and Greta Lee (POTTERSVILLE , MONEY MONSTER , SISTERS , and the upcoming IN A RELATIONSHIP ).
Now for the crew. Directing, writing, and editing is Aaron Katz, known for stuff I’ve never heard of. Composing the score is Keegan DeWitt, known for THE HERO (2017). Finally, the cinematographer is Andrew Reed, known for stuff I’ve never heard of, but it looks like all these guys behind the scenes have worked together a lot before.
Overall, it’s hard to say how this will turn out. I think it’s going to be pretty pain-by-numbers. I think the story is ultimately how this girl is going to set out and try to solve the murder herself, get into a fight scene, and wham, she clears her name and all’s well that ends well. I’m pretty indifferent toward the cast, no one I dislike, but no names that I would rush out to see, with the notable exception of Forbes. I don’t know, I don’t think it’s going to be amazing, but let’s find out.
This is my honest opinion of: GEMINI
Set in Los Angeles, California. Jill LeBeau (Lola Kirke) is a personal assistant to popular young actress, Heather Anderson (Zoë Kravitz). They are also relatively close friends. However, Heather’s been acting stranger than usual. Paranoia, dropping out of commitments to an acting job, asking to borrow Jill’s snub-nose revolver, all while Jill’s been getting possibly hollow death threats from both her ex-boyfriend and others that she works with in the industry. All of this culminates in Jill finding Heather shot and killed in her home. But as soon as the authorities get involved, the lead investigator, Detective Edward Ahn (John Cho), begins to suspect that Jill was the one who killed Heather, setting her on a path to solve the murder herself.
Mmph… so glad I didn’t pay money to see this. It’s not bad, per se, but it’s definitely style over substance.
The very opening of this movie had me screaming that this was going to be really pretentious. Why? Because the picture is upside down! Oh my god, what does it mean?! What amazing head-spinning thrill ride am I in for?! Eh… nothing that thrilling. Actually, the whole first act is kind of weird and off-putting. We have Heather, who is a standard celebrity stereotype. She refuses to honor her commitments to film projects that she’s apart of. She’ll refuse to talk to… whoever Greg (Nelson Franklin) is, sends Jill to do the talking, only to show up after he’s left and drink from his glass. Okay… And speaking of Greg, he blindly orders every appetizer on the menu, without even asking about them, for no apparent reason other than he’s a weirdo, and doesn’t stay long enough for them to arrive after hearing the bad news that Heather won’t be doing his film. What really gets me is when they overstay their welcome and a fangirl of Heather’s, Sierra (Jessica Parker Kennedy), insists on sitting with them so she can hang out with her, and despite Heather’s desires to get out of acting for awhile and trying to avoid the tabloids, she doesn’t seem to mind taking pictures with Sierra, despite the obvious risks. I get that this is probably the point, a fictitious inside look at the habits of those in the industry, but this would seem more relevant if that was what the story was about. Like if the story was about a journalist, or something, shedding light on the odd habits of celebrities. Instead, it’s just there for the sake of being there.
Bottom line, it’s boring. I didn’t care about a single thing that these characters were going through. Heather gets death threats from her ex and manager? I didn’t care. I didn’t care because the movie didn’t give me a reason to care. What makes Heather’s recent choices so out of the ordinary and worthy of threats? Is this movie that she backed away from supposed to be an Oscar grab that touches upon relevant issues, or is it a throwaway movie? Without context, we’re just seeing a brat and it’s hard to care about a brat with little to no personality. While Kirke is a fine enough actress and does fairly well with what she’s been given, I didn’t much care about Jill. I get that she’s pretty close to Heather, but she doesn’t ask enough questions, or put up much resistance against her more bizarre requests. “Can I borrow your gun?” Um… no, you may not borrow that gun. Why do you need it? What are you afraid of? There’s not enough compelling reasons to warrant someone to use your gun. It’s already pretty clear that Heather isn’t in the best frame of mind, so for all Jill knew, she was going to off herself. There’s even a bit where Jill accidentally fires off a shot and says that “it just went off.” Uh, screw you, bitch, guns do not “just go off.” Modern sidearms are designed with a drop-safety, which prevents accidental discharge should the weapon be dropped. In short, she’s a ditz and neither one of these two should be handling a gun.
Jill doesn’t improve even after she finds Heather’s murdered body. She sort of just… goes off on her own neo-noir adventure because… I don’t know. She’s not a retired forensics officer, isn’t an expert in tracking, there’s nothing like that. Hell, her clunky exposition of a backstory is entirely forgettable, making that a wasted page in the script. Honestly, we’re not even made privy that she’s overly clever to do what the cops are likely doing anyway. In fact, if I remember correctly, the cops are usually one step ahead of her. So why is she conducting her own investigation? And considering that she’s constantly avoiding the police, she’s only making herself seem more suspicious, which makes you wonder why the cops aren’t always on her tail, especially since Detective Ahn seems to have it out for her. Why she doesn’t stay within their eyesight to avoid suspicion is entirely beyond me.
Honestly, the only character that I truly liked was Jaime. Aside from that fact that Forbes only gets one God-damned scene in this borefest, Jaime is the only one who seems to really understand what Jill is going through, as far as her own private investigation is concerned. I won’t pretend to know why Jaime is helping Jill, but Forbes’ performance is both the most compelling, and the her character the most sensible.
Come to think of it, I’m not even sure if I understand the ending. Heather’s not really dead, so… who really died? Sierra, the crazed fangirl, right? Well… if that’s the case, then how the fucking hell are the cops so stupid?! Kravitz is very much not of Asian descent, whereas Kennedy very much is. Take one fucking look at her face and it should be a super-dead giveaway! If the dead girl wasn’t Sierra, then… who the fuck was it?? More importantly, SERIOUSLY?! Did Heather murder a random girl and pass her off as herself… JUST TO HAVE AN EXCUSE TO DISAPPEAR?!?!?! This is beyond insane! Granted, Jill reacts properly by notifying the authorities, but fuckin’ Heather is acting like she forgot to flush after taking a dump! Bite my ass, movie!
Overall, I didn’t like this movie. At all. If the boring story and uninteresting characters aren’t enough to condemn this movie, then the sheer abundance of dumb will drive it home. Between rolling my eyes in frustration and fighting to not fall asleep, I have to say that I don’t recommend seeing this movie. Not the worst I’ve seen, but there’s not a whole lot that saves it, other than maybe Forbes and some of the acting talent. I’m sure this has its audience somewhere, but… I’m not it. I can’t call it a bad film, per se, as I’ve seen much worse, but it’s definitely not for me.
My honest rating for GEMINI: 2/5
PS: Must try St. Germain with Mello Yellow one of these day.