I can’t tell if this is a personal heaven or hell.
The story looks like it’s about an army of women who have their minds set on creating a new world order dominated by women through violence.
Here’s the cast, even though I don’t know a single person here. Starring, we have Kita Updike, Suzanne Sachße, Olivia Kundisch, and Til Schindler.
Now for the crew, whose work I will also not be familiar with. Writing and directing, we have Bruce LaBruce. The cinematographer is James Carman. Finally, the editor is Judy Landkammer.
Overall, this looks like it could be some seriously exploitative fun. Probably shouldn’t go in expecting something with any deep meaning, other than providing, as one of the quotes suggests, “a bigot’s nightmare.”
This is my honest opinion of: THE MISANDRISTS
Set in Ger(wo)many, circa 1999. Isolde (Olivia Kundisch) is a member of the FLA, Female Liberation Army, disguised as a Convent in the middle of nowhere, all ran under the matriarch, Gertude, aka, Big Mother (Suzanne Sachße). The goal: tear down the patriarchal rule of the world and usher in a new world order ruled by women. But things get complicated when Isolde and her lover Hilde (Olivia Kundisch) happen across a man, an injured convict named Volker (Til Schindler), and they hide him in the convent as Big Mother plots taking over the world.
You know, for a concept as bizarre and potentially exciting as this is, this movie is disappointingly and staggeringly boring. There’s two ways I can explain this movie. Imagine if a man was just explained what feminism was, his mind was blown by it, set out to make a movie, and at some point forgot everything and pushed it to the extreme of simple man-bashing. Or, imagine if you’re a minority, and you have an anti-Semitic who spots you. He marches up to you with a look that says he’s about to insult you with racial remarks, and you’re gearing up to react, either by lashing back or letting him vent, but then… he just walks away saying nothing to you, leaving you more or less confused and even a little disappointed at the sheer waste of time and effort on both your ends. Take either or both of these descriptions and that’s pretty much this movie.
As you read my summary, you might be expecting the same kind of movie that I was: a b-movie exploitation with a bunch of misandrist women who torture and murder misogynist men. Just a little bit of mindless, but fun violence against those that we secretly know deserve it. However, that never happens. In fact, ninety-five percent of this movie is just a bunch of women wearing scantily clad schoolgirl outfits talking about how men are evil. There’s not even a whole lot of gratuitous nudity. I mean, okay, yes there is, we get a good eyeful of gay porn and a couple of scenes of women making out with their boobs out for one and all to see, but it’s not as prominent as you might expect for this premise.
It’s like this movie is trying to engulf you into this “world,” so to speak, guiding you into every facet of what makes it what it is. Their views, the why and the how, but it never does anything with it. It takes a good long while for the movie to let the audience know that this is actually a terrorist organization, and not just some cult. But they also reference their acts of arson, even though we never see them make any bombs or kill people. It’s all talking. Whatever fun-but-not-serious anti-man message this was trying to tap into, it’s more enforcing the stereotype that women talk too much.
Speaking of talking too much, the writing is the closest thing to anything resembling entertaining. It’s not good, by any means, but these women replace a lot of words that have masculine sounds and replaces them to be feminine. For example, the word “manual,” you know, like an instruction manual, they instead say “wo-manual.” Instead of “history,” they say “herstory.” My favorite was, instead of “emancipation,” they said “womancipation.” But even this silliness overstayed its welcome over time. What was once a cute gimmick becomes static. Lame.
There’s only one torture scene in the movie. It’s at the end. And it’s all stock footage of what I can only assume to be surgery. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t simply gender reassignment surgery, but just… any kind of surgery. But the fact is, it’s a pretty lazy choice.
There’s honestly not much more to say. There’s a forced romance between Isolde and Volker, which doesn’t crop up until well past the halfway point, terrible acting from most of the cast, boring, poorly structured, plot points that barely go anywhere, it’s just not as exciting as anyone would be lead to believe, in either the violence or titillation. As a recommendation, I say pass. It’s not offensive enough to be the worst thing I’ve ever seen, but it’s not fun enough to be worth your time. Glory to the mother, the daughter, and the holy boredom.
My honest rating for THE MISANDRISTS: 2/5
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