Here’s the cast. Starring, we have Tika Sumpter (OLD MAN [2018], SOUTHSIDE WITH YOU [2016], RIDE ALONG [2014], and upcoming films AN ACCEPTABLE LOSS [2019] and SONIC THE HEDGEHOG [2019]), Tiffany Haddish (THE OATH [2018], GIRLS TRIP [2017], KEANU [2016], and upcoming films THE LEGO MOVIE 2: THE SECOND PART [2019] and THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS 2 [2019]), and Omari Hardwick (SORRY TO BOTHER YOU [2018], and the upcoming SGT. WILL GARDNER [2019]).

In support, we have Missi Pyle (TRAFFIK [2018], JUMANJI 2 [2017], CAPTAIN FANTASTIC [2016], and the upcoming WALK. RIDE. RODEO. [2019]), Mehcad Brooks (SUPERGIRL [2015 – ongoing]), Whoopi Goldberg (9/11 [2017], TOY STORY 3 [2010], THE LION KING [1994] and 1 1/2 [2004], and the upcoming NAYA LEGEND OF THE GOLDEN DOLPHIN [2019]), Amber Riley (1 episode of CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND), and Chris Rock (MADAGASCAR [2005] and DOCTOR DOLITTLE [1998]).

Now for the crew. Writing and directing is Tyler Perry, known for ACRIMONY (2018), BOO! (2016), and the upcoming A MADEA FAMILY FUNERAL (2019). Composing the score is Philip White, known for stuff that I’ve either never seen or heard of, and the upcoming A MADEA FAMILY FUNERAL. The cinematographer is Richard J. Vialet, known for ACRIMONY and BOO!.  Finally, the editor is Larry Sexton, known for ACRIMONY and BOO!, and the upcoming A MADEA FAMILY FUNERAL.

I’ve already seen the movie, so let’s get to it.

This is my honest opinion of: NOBODY’S FOOL

 

(SUMMARY)

Danica (Tika Sumpter) is a successful and respected woman at her marketing job, and to top it all off, is in a relationship with her dream man Charlie… whom has had an exclusively phone-related relationship and have never met in person. However, things get a little complicated when Danica’s mother Lola (Whoopi Goldberg) tells her that her sister Tanya (Tiffany Haddish) is getting released from prison and will need a place to stay. Bringing Tanya home and upon learning about Charlie and Danica’s unorthodox relationship, she suspects that Charlie is fake and begins to take measures in figuring out the truth behind this mysterious man.

(REVIEW)

Yup, it sucks. Big time.

You know what’s sad? I want to like the talent involved. Sumpter, Haddish, and Lord knows that I treasure Missi Pyle in anything, but Perry just doesn’t know how to write good characters. He’s spectacular at writing sans-personality stereotypes, but not good characters. Haddish is the loud black girl stereotype, Sumpter and Hardwick are the nice and well-spoken stereotypes, and no one has any real development that’s interesting. I suppose one should be able to say that Danica is the one who has to learn that it doesn’t matter if you’ve been in prison or not, people can change, but this lesson feels pretty mute when she has a sister who’s been in prison and continues to love. So what makes Tanya all that different from Frank?

The truth is, I figured this movie out in the first five or so minutes. Basically from the opening scene to the moment we meet Frank (Omari Hardwick). First, let’s talk about that opening sequence. Hell, let’s talk about the opening shot. It’s of Sumpter’s tits in a nice bra. Not of her face, but of her tits in that bra. And this isn’t even some shot that lasts half a microsecond that could have been polished with a quick edit. No, we hold on that shot for a solid five-ish seconds. I know that’s not a long time, but it’s still pretty uncomfortable. Then she’s dancing around in her underwear, looking way too happy and primed up for someone who just woke up. Seriously, how does a PG-rated Disney film accurately depict women waking up better than a life-action adult comedy?

FROZEN (2013) speaks the truth

Then Frank is introduced and then I had this movie pegged. They weren’t going to let Danica and Frank not be together at the end. That would imply that Perry has originality. So what was my guess with Charlie? My guess was that he was going to be a good-looking dude, but there still be something wrong with him that will drive her back to Frank. Lo and behold, I was 100 percent on the money. I would say you should congratulate me and let’s all take a trip to Vegas as I can predict the future like a mother fucking boss, but the reason I will sadly not stoop to that level is because I’ve seen a movie at some point in my life. As in, I’ve seen movies that do this stupid storyline before. Many times. So instead, I can only claim to do the thing that even toddlers are capable of doing quite proficiently, and that’s spotting patterns. Yes, despite this movie being aimed at adults, I am making the claim that a child could figure this movie out. Fight me.

I know that there’s a lot of people out there who have said that they think this movie is funny because they know black people who talk and act like her. They have loud voices and talk a million miles a minute. I have too, but here’s the thing, people in real life have personalities that shatter the preconceptions. They aren’t just loud mouths and fast talkers. Haddish is not just a loud mouth and fast talker. If you see her in interviews, she’s infinitely more charming and likable than this movie lets on. Seriously, go on Youtube and just look up ANYTHING Tiffany Haddish and look at the difference. She’s a lot more quiet, but she’s cute, adorable, and yet still has that trademark outrageous side that everyone loves out of what we think of a strong, confident black woman. But at the core of that outrageous side is a real personality. Now, I get it, sometimes you just have to act. But does every black girl in the hood have to act like she snorted coke while hopped up on five shots of espresso and a liter of Mountain Dew? I mean, why go for the stereotype? Isn’t it more of a challenge to find the middle ground of someone outrageous, but not cartoonishly so? Hell, Haddish proved that she can do this kind of character better in GIRLS TRIP. Her performance wasn’t broke, so why rehash it? Honestly, I think Haddish can do better, and has done better.

As for the story itself… what can I say? No one living in the modern era of technology would be so gullible as to fall for a man or woman that they’ve never met or even seen in person. People just know better than that. Especially after a year. A YEAR!!! A FUCKING YEAR!!! Hey, anyone who knows me really well knows that I’m one to talk, but I at least had Skype, or a Skype-similar program to work with. After a time, no matter what kind of connection you make with someone, you need some measure of proof that you are who you claim to be. Hell, a Facebook profile may not be full proof, but it’d be something. But Charlie had nothing. And Danica accepted every excuse. No one outside of highly sheltered teenagers are this dumb, and if you’re a highly successful marketing person, someone who is a TRAINED BULLSHITTER, LIKE DANICA IS, then there is no excuse for falling for this type of crap.

Even the twists and developments don’t make a whole lot of sense. Like, Charlie’s former sports coach, Lawrence (Chris Rock), was using Charlie’s wifi and was sending messages to Danica? Where do I begin with this? First off, this dude lives in a trailer, not exactly living in the big time, if you know what I mean, AND doesn’t exactly look like he’s mentally stable. Yet somehow, he makes the claim that he has access to voice modifying technology? Bitch, I’m middle class living in Calabasas and frequently make trips to all over L.A. during the weekend. Even I don’t have access to that shit. Something was off about this guy’s story. And second, why was he doing this shit? Okay, sick and perverted men exist. I won’t even try and attempt to dispute that. With that said, why do something this obvious?? Charlie was eventually going to find out, and if Danica wasn’t sending feminism back to the Stone Age, and thought to question the absurdity of being duped by this mentally unstable dip-shit, then even she would have to have forgiven Charlie for what happened. Why anyone would trust their personal information around Lawrence is entirely beyond my level of comprehension, but it’s not like Charlie was aware of all this.

Overall, I think this movie is dumb. It’s a bad movie. The premise is awful. The characters are stupid. The otherwise talented actors are annoying. There’s just… nothing to enjoy. I can’t claim it to be the worst movie this year, mostly because I don’t usually associate Tyler Perry with good films, and this didn’t break any barriers of crap that would cause me to label it as one of the most unpleasant films of the year. It’s simply your typical bad flick. As a recommendation, don’t see it. Save your time, save your money, it’s not worth it either in theaters, or as a rental. I wish all the best for the cast, but this movie is everybody’s fool.

My honest rating for NOBODY’S FOOL: 2/5

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