Somehow… this movie fits McConaughey to a tee.
Here’s the cast. Starring, we have Matthew McConaughey (SERENITY , WHITE/RICK , DARK TOWER , KUBO , and the upcoming BUSH ), Isla Fisher (TAG  and NOCTURNAL ANIMALS ), Snoop Dogg (POPSTAR  and PITCH PERFECT 2 ), and Stefania LaVie Owen (stuff I’ve either never seen or heard of, and the upcoming THE CAT AND THE MOON ).
In support, we have Zac Efron (GREATEST SHOWMAN , MIKE AND DAVE , and the upcoming SCOOB ), Martin Lawrence (WILD HOGS , BLACK KNIGHT , and the upcoming BAD BOYS FOR LIFE ), and Jonah Hill (TRAIN YOUR DRAGON , 2 , and 3 , DON’T WORRY , and WAR DOGS ).
Now for the crew. Writing and directing is Harmony Korine, known for stuff I’ve either never seen or heard of. Composing the score is John Debney, known for ISN’T IT ROMANTIC (2019), BEIRUT (2018), HOME AGAIN (2017), JUNGLE BOOK (2016), THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER (2015), STONEHEARST ASYLUM (2014), IRON MAN 2 (2010), HOCUS POCUS (1993), and the upcoming DORA AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD (2019). The cinematographer is Benoît Debie, known for CLIMAX (2019) and SISTERS BROTHERS (2018). Finally, the editor is Douglas Crise, known for GOLD (2017).
This is my honest opinion of: THE BEACH BUM
Moondog (Matthew McConaughey) is a free-spirited man with the heart of a poet, which once cultivated into a widely popular book. A feat that he has not since been able to accomplish twice, despite constant nagging from outside forces. He loves his wealthy wife Minnie (Isla Fisher) and his recently-married daughter Heather (Stefania LaVie Owen). He loves drinking, getting high, and getting friendly with anyone and everyone. One day, his antics go too far and he and his wife get into a car accident, resulting in her death. Upon her death, however, half of everything that Minnie owned goes to their daughter, and the other half is frozen in escrow until Moondog can shape up his life and publish a new book.
Jesus, two for two in bad movies. Yeah, this one is definitely not my cup of tea. Plain and simple, all this movie is, is a bunch of assholes doing asshole things and not a single consequence coming from it. I suppose I should be grateful that this movie played with my expectations of how everything would play out, but I wish it did it in a way that was enjoyable for me, and not just itself.
All this movie does is show Moondog getting drunk and high, while spouting what he thinks is philosophy and deep, insightful thoughts. Except it all comes across like mad ravings. By the end of the flick, he says that all he wants to do is have fun and have a good time. Yeah, sure, says it like he isn’t an apathetic, or inconsiderate, dick-cheese who pisses in other people’s boats, invades their personal space, breaks out of a rehab clinic by breaking down a glass door that could have easily opened, and literally assaults an older handicapped man for his money, so he can buy more alcohol, and leaves him on the ground. And who knows when that poor guy got help! None of this is healthy fun! Even taking out the more extreme moments of the movie, Moondog is completely oblivious and unfeeling. He loves his wife so much, and yet when she dies, he does absolutely nothing. She hides her affairs with Lingerie (Snoop Dogg) for no reason. She even exclaims that he wouldn’t care if he found out, which he eventually does, and lo and behold, he doesn’t care. So why did she hide that little bit of info from him?
His daughter Heather is no different either. There’s a wedding that she’s afraid he’ll ruin, yet he’s still invited. To make matters even more confusing, she’s utterly disrespectful toward her husband. She claims that her father is a great man, but her husband won’t ever be great. So… why is she getting married to him if she doesn’t even like him? In fact, by the end of the movie, she’s divorced from him and seems rather relieved about it. Again, and I can’t stop asking this question, why did she waste her time getting married to a man that she didn’t care about?!?! In fact, if anything, getting married to anyone other than a man like her father is incredibly out of character. She doesn’t seem to care about her father’s behavior or antics any more than anyone else does.
Overall, I’m willing to bet that this is going to be a cult classic, but unlike many of the genre, I don’t feel it’s warranted. Oh, sure, the stoners of the world will probably swear by this movie, and I’ll be told a million times that “I just don’t get it.” Well, that’s not a lie. I don’t. And quite frankly, I don’t think I want to scramble my brain any more than this movie did in order to understand it. I’m perfectly fine with forgetting this dumb flick. Never thought I’d see the day where SERENITY would be the more dignified role. As a recommendation, I say it’s a hard pass. Far from the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but Christ is this a waste of time.
My honest rating for THE BEACH BUM: 2/5
This week’s reviews:
Next week’s reviews: